I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize