I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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