my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
