Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
