I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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