At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
