I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Couch. On fire.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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