how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
two words: eviction party
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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