She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
