She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
