I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
