What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You pole danced in your parka.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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