I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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