I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
