Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
