Well apparently he's into motor boating.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
