I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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