I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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