If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
