awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
