ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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