; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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