I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
