Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
