it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Randomize
