What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
