my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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