is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
