I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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