3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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