I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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