your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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