We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize