dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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