Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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