So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How does one acquire holy water?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
