Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
