Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
