after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
