Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
