also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
