Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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