That's intense
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
