drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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