I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
After last night, I could never be a politician.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
