i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize