I cockslap morals
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize