This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
