He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
