somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
