I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
