sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
