Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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