Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
false alarm, still single
Randomize
