also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
