Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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