scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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