you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
