As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
