did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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