PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
